DOMINIC KING: Kirkby inquiry struggling on the same old hymn sheets

Then there are myriad factions - among them Liverpool City Council and KEIOC - in opposition, as well as traditionalists who may have noted the lyrics from The Verve's latest offering: "I'd rather be here than be anywhere, is anywhere better than here?"

Unfortunately, the answer to that is rapidly appearing to be 'yes' and the reasons articulately outlined by Elstone earlier this week are enough to send shivers down the spines of all Evertonians, regardless of their stance on Kirkby.

This article will, no doubt, be dismissed by many as yet more club propaganda, a vehicle that gives Elstone a chance to promote the Destination Kirkby project as some sort of nirvana for all Blues and ignores the concerns of others.

Well, it's not. Its point is to illustrate a number of facts that show, above all, Everton cannot allow themselves to fall behind their Premier League rivals by standing still due to their inability to generate enough money.

"We have been looking hard for at least 10 years," Elstone pointed out. "We have looked at what we can do at Goodison, we've spoken with Liverpool City Council and have looked to see if we can make Goodison a modern, 21st century stadium with 50,000 seats.

"That hasn't proven to be the case. We revisited the situation and found it would be very expensive to do it and with minimal returns. We asked the council a few years ago prior to signing the exclusivity agreement with Tesco if there were sites which we could revue.

"We had done our homework but the answer was 'no' before we signed up to Tesco and Knowsley.

"We have not been able to see a site that comes with the financial support that the Kirkby Project does.

"There have been pieces of land that have been floated but none of them have had any glimmer of hope that they would be commercially viable for us. At the moment, we are heavily exposed to the performance of our manager."

While that shows David Moyes in the best of lights, he and his players clearly need support and given the way money makes the modern footballing world go round, a packed ground is imperative to that happening.

Just look at the figures between Everton and Arsenal.

The Blues, on the very best of days, generate £800,000 from Goodison Park, whereas the Gunners' get a return of £3m per match at The Emirates Stadium.

Elstone's presentation at the EGM in September showed ways in which Goodison could be redeveloped but it proved the cost is astronomical, the inconvenience maximum and the returns they would get in the long-term minimal.

The arguments put forward by KEIOC, however, are just as persuasive and their chairman Dave Kelly is eager to emphasise that they are not standing in the way of the club's progress - all they want is their beloved Blues to stay within the city boundaries.

If there was a suitable plot of land, so would Bill Kenwright. If his pockets were deep enough, this probably wouldn't be an issue but the fact of the matter is Everton need to move ground to maximise their earning potential.

Everton can't keep going with cap in hand every summer to the bank manager, bumping up their borrowings to bring in new faces as it only takes one wrong season to spell catastrophe - just look what happened to Leeds United.

Equally, they cannot run the risk of losing at the public inquiry as that will inevitably lead to comparisons with the King's Dock saga and leave those who have been fierce in their criticism screaming 'why there was no back-up plan?'

It promises, then, to be an intriguing couple of months - a period of time that will decide if Everton can keep moving forward or force them to take a step back.

Neville lets his guard slip as kids turn up heat

MARTIN BASHIR and Jeremy Paxman may be two of the world's great interviewers but they have nothing on primary school children - just ask Phil Neville.

The Everton skipper paid a visit to the NSPCC Centre on Great Homer Street earlier this week to promote an anti-bullying campaign and, after being shown round the outstanding facility, he took part in a question and answer session.

As you would expect, Neville replied to every query in a diplomatic and sensitive manner, offering advice to those children who wanted to know if he had ever been bullied and enlightening those who were desperate to know about all things Everton.

Of course, it was inevitable the innocence of youth ensured he was asked how much he earned and which of his team-mates had the best car but, ever the professional, Neville remained unflustered.

Then, though, he dropped his guard. "B*****y hell, kids, that was worse than a normal interview!" he said without thinking after the last question.

Cue the instant sounds of startled gasps from his audience and a red-faced Neville frantically back-pedalling to apologise.

Lawro misses the funny bone - once again

MARK LAWRENSON has been trying for years to cultivate a reputation as a funny man but the pundit's attempts at humour fell flat on their face once again this week.

At the North West Football Awards earlier this week, David Moyes was asked to present a gong to Sir Tom Finney and took part in some banter with Lawrenson on stage before the Preston great was called up.

Typically, though, Lawrenson went a step too far and when he told Moyes in front of a 300-strong audience that he was a "crap" player, the 'joke' was met with the sound of tumbleweeds, rather than laughter.

And, if anything, Moyes was able to have the last laugh. Not only was he later named Manager of the Year, Sir Tom's first words on stage were "actually, I thought David was one of Preston's better players". Touché.