David Prentice: Who Everton think they are kidding?
IT'S been a Dad's Army kind of summer at Everton. We've had the white haired fella shouting 'Don't Panic, Don't panic,' the grim faced foot soldiers moaning 'We're doomed,' while the man leading the troops has been chasing a crestfallen James Vaughan to cry "You stupid boy."
The big difference, however, is no-one's laughing.
Now I'm definitely a glass half-full kind of guy. I was chastised last summer for refusing to panic when Phil Jagielka was the only new signing by July 19.
The next day Steven Pienaar arrived, swiftly followed by Leighton Baines, Stefan Wessels, Yakubu and Tommy Gravesen.
But now I'm definitely nervous.
Everton stage their final pre-season friendly of the summer tomorrow, the game when the last little tactical nuances are usually tried out by the manager's first choice starting XI.
Except David Moyes can't even name a starting XI for next Saturday when the real business begins.
Blackburn are reported to be a club in crisis this summer, senior stars struggling to come to terms with the demands of a new, young manager.
But Paul Ince must really fancy his chances of getting off to a flier at Goodison.
With Johnson sold, Vaughan probably suspended, Cahill injured and Anichebe chasing the Olympic dream, the Blues have one senior striker to choose from next Saturday.
Happily he's the best one.
But Everton's striking options are bountiful compared to their mauled midfield.
Can you name a midfield unit to kick off the season? Because I can't.
Pienaar, Arteta and Osman, fine - injuries permitting. But who's the fourth? Phil Neville?
Not if you need him to cover at right-back for the injured Tony Hibbert.
Leighton Baines? Well he did play there once last season at home to Spurs.
Joseph Yobo? Phil Jagielka? They may be international class centre-backs, but they're both Championship class central midfielders.
Moyes is being asked to fit square pegs into round holes before a ball has even been kicked - and this is the time of the season when your squad is supposed to be at its strongest.
So how has it come to this?
Two months ago, Everton looked the best equipped side to challenge the closed shop of the 'Big Four'.
Now they are more likely to be challenged by the posse of clubs bunching up behind them.
Portsmouth, Aston Villa, Manchester City, Tottenham, Blackburn and Newcastle have all signed new players this summer.
Only Everton and Manchester United haven't. No prizes for guessing which squad needs reinforcements most.
There have clearly been cash flow problems at Goodison this summer. Moyes did not utter a public word throughout the month of June and the first half of July - even when he appointed a new first team coach.
Was this because he was busy saving his breath for potential transfer discussions? Or because he couldn't trust himself to answer leading questions about club finances?
I suspect the latter.
The straight-talking Glaswegian currently stands alongside Joe Royle in a very exclusive Evertonian club - one of only two Blues managers NEVER to have told me a deliberate porkie.
And I suspect he didn't want to knock that club down to an elite group of one.
He's talking again now, because money now appears to be available. Whether it's too little, too late only time will tell.
The lack of transfer spending has already clearly affected team morale.
Phil Neville, Joleon Lescott, Leighton Baines and Leon Osman have all spoken at some time or another this summer of their excitement at welcoming in new signings.
That excitement must now be akin to waking up on Christmas morning and finding that Raffles, the cat burglar, rather than Father Christmas has been visiting.
Just how did a team that qualified for the Champions League in 2005 and has finished fifth and sixth in the last two seasons, get into a situation where it now seems they must fill a far-off new stadium before being able to fill their team sheet?
The answer, as always, is financial.
When Bill Kenwright said Everton didn't need a millionaire this week, they need a billionaire, he wasn't kidding.
Permission to panic, sir?
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Watching the events of this summer unfold have been seriously worrying and depressing . At the end of the 2007 / 08 season I like many other Evertonians was relieved we crawled over the finish line in May to finish 5th . I was convinced that would be proof enough how we needed to beef up our small squad and with another season in the UEFA cup surely we would have no problems attracting quality players. As the June transfer window opened I was convinced DM would be straight in with some bids on much needed reinforcements with ability, alas the weeks have passed , barely a whisper of reasurance from Goodison Park and even worse a trickle of players leaving the club, weakening the squad even further. It seems like many of the rumours were true and the move to Kirkby was integral to everything . Johnsons transfer seems to have been essential to provide the only funds available to DM despite Kenwright insisting money has been available. If money was in place for DM to spend at the start of the transfer window why would he have waited all summer till we get to the final week before the season opener and still no new personnel ? I honestly believe the bidding for Moutinho is nothing more than a sham to appease us worried fans, as the figures Everton are supposedly offering for him seem to be way short of Lisbons valuation, I hope I'm proved wrong. It seems despite a high finish in the Premiership and a run in Europe and the Sky TV money, Everton are once again skint. Breaking the top 4 looks more and more distant, maybe breaking the top 10 will be more realistic. Another campaign in Europe could be taxing on the depleted squad with the demands of the EPL. I've tried to keep positive all summer thinking it will be ok and its only a matter of time but now that doesn't seem to be the case. Still, having supported Everton for 35 years nothing surprises me , you are just left with that deflated feeling . Ground move on ice , DM's contract unsigned leaving you with the suspicion he may not be around for much longer, close Prem rivals strengthening their squads whilst Evertons gets weaker, making a top 6 finish seem a tall order and no sign of new blood or much needed investment from current board members (even silent ones) and the frustration of how well that small squad has been doing keeping ahead of wealthier rivals and so close to the Sky 4, due to the excellent man management of DM. Can the Moyesiah by some miracle do it again and keep us sniffing around the top four fat cats , I really hope so and all this rant proves to be a load of rubbish and four or five new players are signed in the next few weeks, sadly I suspect not , I still have that deflated feeling .
Echo in 'telling it how it is' shocker!!!
As much as I despise Destination Kirkby and how Kenwright went that route, I still have a lot of affection for him, but it's time to sell - not just talk about it. He's not going to get finance while keeping himself in control - he's going to have to hand it all over, and the sooner the better.
The important person in all of this is Moyes, and if we lose him, it's all over.
If we lost the Moyesiah the potential repercussions would spell the end for the current board , Goodison would be reminiscent of Krakatoa or Hirosima: with a venting of fury I doubt even the best PR could deflect or prevent the fall of the current board.
Moyes has the backing of 99.99% of Evertonians. Its obvious he's trying to bring in people. Thats because of his track record of building fan loyalty over a period of years, not sentimentality.
My own view is that Rooney was a money grabber, and not really an Evertonian at heart.
For me Moyes has shown more integrity, intelligence and so forth as to make him a million times the Evertonian. For this I am thankful Rooney went, and Moyes stayed. Hindsight has only proven this.
I for one will be marching on Goodison if the unthinkable happens. I for one will also be backing Moyes come what may this season.
Also believe some names (maybe 4) will come in, we will do better than most Blue's think, and investment in the shape of a benefactor will come in at some point this season.
Looking forward to PSV, hopeful of some faces before Blackburn. And still backing Moyes 150%! COYB
"""Just how did a team that qualified for the Champions League in 2005 and has finished fifth and sixth in the last two seasons, get into a situation where it now seems they must fill a far-off new stadium before being able to fill their team sheet?"""
Someone obviously reads guardian.co.uk fiver section.
What a disgraceful joke of a reporter.