Everton avoided a European minefield

Before last weekend's final round of fixtures, Everton lay just two points behind Manchester City in the Premier League's bizarrely calculated 'Fair Play Table.'

But while Richard Dunne was sent off at Middlesbrough and Sun Jihai booked, Everton picked up no reds and no yellows against Newcastle.

Of course it isn't just red and yellow cards which count.

A team can also earn up to 10 points for 'positive play,' except City lost 8-1, which has left them desperately hoping to pick up bonus points in categories headlined "respect for opponents," "respect for officials" and "behaviour of officials."

Fulham now bizarrely stand to benefit from City's self-implosion, but we won't know for sure until next week, when the reports of the Premier League delegates at each match are in.

People used to claim that the much-maligned Intertoto Cup detracted from the lustre of European competition.

I'd suggest that awarding a European place on the basis of a blazered lackey holding a dressing room door open for a linesman is infinitely more degrading.

Thank heaven Everton got there via the football route.

Blues look to bonanza

HALF a million reasons why Everton should support Manchester United in Moscow next Wednesday.

Having already pocketed £500,000 from United's title triumph - part of the terms of the Wayne Rooney transfer - they will collect another £1m if United beat Chelsea to land the Champions League.

That sum drops to only half a million if Avram Grant's men are successful.

Blowing the whistle on the anti-Everton brigade

ALAN HANSEN believes Everton are still "a million miles away" from breaking into the top four.

Maybe he means "a multi million pound investment" away, a colossal midfielder, a decent winger or perhaps a little more strength in depth.

It's a point of view.

But perhaps all Everton really need is the rub of the green from referees next season.

The final 'right result' league table, the one compiled by the anoraks who work out results and tables if referees got everything right, has Everton ending the campaign in fourth place.

Complaints on a postcard to Messrs Clattenburg, Wiley, Dowd, Halsey . . . .

Boyo plans a Royle ascent

THE last Englishman to win the FA Cup was a proud Scouser, when Joe Royle's underdogs of war upset the best of breed at Wembley.

After 13 years that record will finally go tomorrow, but at least there's a chance another Scouser might inherit it.

David Jones is fondly remembered on one half of Merseyside and there'll be plenty of neutrals rooting for Cardiff's talented, dignified and impressive boss.

Golden age of the good old days

THE Premier League is now a rapidly ageing 16 years old.

So perhaps we shouldn't sneer when Newcastle fans sing: "Ee, aye, ee aye, ee aye oh. Up the Premier League we go!"

But I'm going to.

The old fashioned, stick in the mud, traditionalists of Goodison Park steadfastly refuse to chant those new-fangled lyrics.

They still sing about moving up the "Football" League, and you know what? I kind of like that type of attitude.

Because football did exist before 1992, even if some supporters appear to have conveniently forgotten that fact.

Manchester United fans sing: "We won it 10 times!" in a reference to the number of Premier League titles they have collected, spectacularly erasing the three title triumphs of the Busby Babes and the two so stylishly captured in the 1960s.

Obviously, they sing it as a dig at Liverpool. They can't exactly sing "17 times" without acknowledging that the Reds have still won one more.

But by only recognising Premier League titles, this totally disinherits the most charismatic United team of all time - the team of Best, Law and Charlton, and the team which was the first from England to conquer Europe.

The Premier League revolution has brought about many beneficial changes to football in this country, but let's not lose sight of the 104-years of League history which preceded it.